Yes i was in love then....

I met him an year ago in a shopping mall during the festivities; he was new in the country and i really did not consider him, actually he never crossed my mind. To me he was not the kind of a guy that i would go for, he was nothing compared to my taste, well i would have liked him tall and a little bit fleshy while he was actually shorter not to mention shorter than me; to me he appeared like a young man in his late twenties or early thirties looking for a good time. Well i was not that person and so it never bothered me at all. I remember vividly meeting him twice or thrice but it never bothered or crossed my mind until i noticed that our meeting were too much coincidental.We started by exchanging pleasantries and of course introducing ourselves and since i learnt that he was new around i decided to invite him to a friends party that evening just too cut down boredom and that is how it all started. It took me two or so months of persuasion for me to be able to really accept him as my boyfriend, I was not up to bearing any heartaches anymore having walked out of another broken relationship i was not actually ready for any. He looked like a nice guy i watched him closely and with time i guess i must have told myself that it would not hurt anyone. He looked serious, focused; I actually made him my role model. This was a man in his mid forties who had actually achieved most his life’s desires and more and the killer of it all was that he had a mad love for God! He might not know this but this was actually my turn on. The way he would fall on his knees and cry to God in spite of who was around him told me that he had a special bond with Christ. I liked the way he reasoned, I liked his understanding and i liked his ambition. I believe that real men love God and the passion that Jacob had for Christ was out of this world and so i thought to myself why not i might not like his height, neither his weight nor his physic but one thing that i really loved was his heart and the fact that he was so embraced in God that softened my heart and i started falling in love with him. It was not actually smooth sailing but i think that i started falling in love with him after a small misunderstanding and that is when it actually hit me i must have grown found of Jacob after four or so months. I really liked him and i was falling in love with him he was not only a friend but he was turning to become my best friend. We would spend most of our free time together talking and laughing advising each other on life issues. We were friends. I had learn't what he liked, what he dint like, his favorite meals and what got him on edge. I had actually learn't even his way of speaking and i would understand him more and much faster than anyone else because of his accent. He on the other hand knew exactly what my likes were and at some point it looked to me that we seemed like the Siamese twins. I knew where he was at a certain time even though he had not told me and him on the on the other hand would know what was going around me even though we had not spoken. We were in love. Everyone in town knew about us and they all thought that i was the luckiest girl in town he looked like a composed guy, his focus was on me! I now believe what they say that all that glitters is not gold! I was in my comfort zone and i did not see it coming....i was so deeply engraved such that i now think i must have been blinded or something. Looking at things now i truly believe that this fool must have started cheating on me three months prior to my knowing. Hey sisters this is my advice if you see a small change in your man please do not ignore it, it might just be the thing that is going to tear your heart apart. Also please keep tabs on the kind of friends that they keep those too are bound to be major determinants’ in your relationship! His friend John was the slippery type you would not really know what he is up too and he would not be really open to me he appeared really mysterious; one thing though is that i noticed he really liked texting and when i talk about texting i simply mean SMSing this to me looked really wired since i dint expect that from a man of his age so often than not my comments were 'why not call the person?' and little dint i know that my man was following suite! This are the weird habits that you should pick up and to my surprise now it never downed on me that something might be a miss at all. We had the rule of your phone is your phone and we respected each others privacy so i never asked. Another weird character was that we changed the normal restaurant that we used to frequent and his explanation was that i used to complain that it had become cumbersome LOL at least i can laugh about it now i thought it was love and care but wow unto me he was actually hitting on a restaurant cashier! This is someone who knew me and saw me with this man every other day. By the way i have no grudge with the woman to this day, if i was to have problem with anyone would be with the idiot i was dealing with! He knew what we had he knew that i loved him yet he went ahead to pursue another person. One thing that i believe is that you can NEVER EVER love two people at the same time so if one is keen you can pick this signs. To cut the whole story short we broke up...and may be you would wonder why i am still writing about him. Well i was not. I had started this blog a few months ago and left it hanging on my desktop and when my friend read it she said she wanted to see the end of it.. I am quiet sure had i written it a few months ago the juice could be different, there is actually not much to talk about the guy; I got hurt and i have healed my wounds. Some one said this to me My scars tell a story; we all have scars, scars on our bodies, scars on our souls. Scars never completely go away, but the good thing is that they don’t hurt anymore...they show that you have been through something and overcome it. The scars remind you that it could have been worse but you survived. The scars of life don’t define your character; they define your life’s journey....A scar shows battle won! A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed, healed and done with. Every winner has a scar, I am a winner,you are a winner! Let’s not live our lives based on the scars but rather understand that we are now STARS, all thanks to the SCARS! Let not scars define you; let it show where you have been but not where you are going. How true is that? I am no longer letting my past determine my feature; thought he could break me but no! He actually made me stronger, stronger than he found me. I’m sure he wonders why i still smiling let alone burst out with laughter... Different people have different ways of dealing with such issues. There are those that will cry themselves to sleep, there are those that will find the culprit and really try make them understand that what he or she is doing is hurting them, there those that go silent and can not speak about the issue ever again, there those that really turn to there higher power with renewed strength, there are those that go on vacation and just think about issues over and also there those that opt to go on a drinking spree just to dawn there miseries’ point is that people are really different and as for me i find solace in writing I don’t know how true it is but i have been told over and over and over again that i should not especially write when i am angry since when you write you can not take it back be it on text, email, mms, article or even a blog. Writing to me makes me think and become creative, it relaxes my nerves to put feelings to words especially when i can not really be able express them. At times i really wonder how God gets the patience to deal with us but i guess that that he is just God and nothing less... I’m done with this blog i don’t have the juice any more... Alice and Maggie I hope that you enjoy reading it.