God does not choose a spouse for us

God does not choose a spouse for us

Many people feel that God can choose a spouse for them or reveal to them whom to marry.

Some people wait for God to give them the name or show them a particular person to marry.

Some  people rely on Pastors or Ministers to pray and reveal to them their  destined spouses.

Many people believe that there is a particular person they have been destined to Marry.

Does God choose a spouse for us?

God does not choose a spouse for any man nor woman and God does not tell any man neither any woman who to marry. In fact, God cannot choose a wife for any man. Some people say that because Adam accused God that it was the woman he gave him that led him to sin, God stopped choosing wives for men. This assumption is not true as God did not choose Eve for Adam. Eve wasn’t the first and only creature God presented to Adam. There were other creature but his choice was Eve. Adam chose Eve himself. Man is a free moral agent. We are the only creatures of God that are free moral agents because we were created in the image and likeness of God. God does not and will not interfere with our right of choice. Genesis 2:18-24 shows how Adam made his choice of Eve.

In verse 18, God established the fact that man should not be alone. He also decided to make a help mate for man. In verse 19, He went on to make the help mate. It is important to note in this verse that God’s primary aim of bringing the beasts of the field and fowls of the air to Adam is not for the purpose of naming.

Many people mistake it to be naming ceremony. Please note here that God brought them to Adam to see what he would call them and not for Adam to name them. They have two different meaning. If it were a naming ceremony, the bible would have said God brought them unto Adam to be named.

In verse 20, Adam gave names to all the cattle, fowls of the air, and to every beast, but did not find any helpmate of his choice among the creatures. That is the reason he didn’t choose any of them as his helpmate.

In the same verse 20, the scripture says but for Adam there was not found an help mate for him. This means there was a search among the beasts of the field and fowls of the air but no suitable mate was found for him. The word ‘found’ indicates that there was a search. Because Adam didn’t choose from any of the creatures formed out of the ground, God then formed woman out of Adam and brought her to him.

Note well that the same way God brought the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air to Adam to see what he would call them, so He also formed and brought the woman to Adam to see what he would call her. (Genesis 2:22)

Another spectacular thing happened in verse 23. When Adam saw the woman, he exclaimed: This is now the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh. The ‘now’ in Adam’s statement clearly indicates that none of the creatures previously brought to him was acceptable to him. It meant that he had finally found an acceptable mate, so he declared: She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Please also note that in this verse, Adam also gave a name to the woman just as he had given names to the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air. So, their marriage took place immediately because the search for a help mate was over.

What I want you to understand here is that God did not force Adam to marry Eve. Adam had other choices but preferred Eve. God has never and will never choose a wife for any man. God does not interfere with our right of choice. It is your responsibility to choose your spouse. What God did was to bring the woman (Eve) to Adam and allowed him to make his choice.

God can order your steps to meet with your future spouse.( Psalm 37:23). This is one reason you should not take for granted the people that cross your path each day. God can direct your spouse to you but he will not choose for you, and will not force you to marry the person. The choice is yours to make.

Let’s take a quick look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7, where we find the most explicit instruction concerning God’s will for us in whether we marry and how we find our spouse. In 1 Cor. 7:6-9, Paul writes

"6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.8 To the [singles] and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (NIV)"

There are several important things to observe about this passage. The first is that in verse six Paul clarifies that these instructions aren’t a divine requirement. He’s saying that he’s sharing important wisdom and principles for us to consider, but God doesn’t morally require us to go one way or the other. In verse 35, Paul reaffirms that his instructions about choosing to marry aren’t commands but wise counsel offered to aid in understanding what choice is a wise one. In verses 7 and 8, Paul explains that it’s good for people to remain single because they are better able to serve God without distraction in an age where God’s kingdom is in conflict with the world. He explains this more fully in verses 27 through 34 (I won’t post here for space, but be sure to read them!). But in verse 9, Paul makes it clear that wisdom maintains that a strong compulsion to marry should be responded to by marrying rather than trying to force oneself to maintain a personally straining self-denial.

What Paul is ultimately saying is that he sees dedication to serving God as a single as best while serving God in married life is still exceedingly good. But ultimately, each man and woman is free to choose for himself or herself what path to take. God doesn’t lay any requirement on a person to marry or not marry. His will for a person isn’t only one thing or the other. God gives each person freedom to choose. But the choice needs to be made according to wisdom in light of how God is calling the person to serve Him. Sometimes marriage hinders your ability to fulfill God’s unique calling for you.

Often times we hear people exclaim statements like "I'm waiting on God to reveal to me who I should marry." Well friend you will be waiting a pretty long time. God does not choose a spouse for us.