“It’s been miserable,” the woman confessed. “We’ve only been married for five years but it has been the worst five years of my life. My husband has just been awful. And what frustrates me so much is that God confirmed that I was supposed to marry him, ten times over.”
You could have served the bitterness in her voice to a thousand people.
In another conversation, another woman, married not just years, but decades, to a man who proved to be a pathological nassaccist, slipped in the same sigh and words, “But God told me to marry him.”
To these and many others who said, “God told me to marry him/her,” I want to cry out, “No, He didn’t.”
How can you say that Tabby?
Allow me to burst your bubble. There is nothing in scripture that suggests there is just one specific person we're "supposed" to marry. Let me to explain.
Proverbs 31 urges young men to be guided by a woman’s faith and character in making their choice.
There is no mention of second guessing some divine destiny.
In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul tells women. Widows, in particular to seriously consider singleness, but assures them the choice of whether to get married is up to them, and then specifically says women can marry “whomever they wish” as long as that potential husband is "in the Lord." (1 Cor 7:39 A wife is bound [to her husband by law] as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, only [provided that he too is] in the Lord.)
The Bible explicitly is saying, "it’s your call whether or not to get married" - a sentiment Jesus echoes when He says some “choose” to become eunuchs (celibate) (Matthew 19:12 For there are eunuchs who have been born that way from their mother’s womb [making them incapable of consummating a marriage]; and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men [for royal service]; and there are eunuchs who have made themselves so for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”)
With emphasis on the word “choose” or "made themselves" then it's entirely your choice as to who you marry. Why should your subjective feelings and reasoning override living by the truth of Scripture?
There is, quite frankly, nothing in scripture that ever tells us it is our sworn duty to marry one particular person.
Oh wait. There is no one person that God ever chose a spouse for save for Hosea and yes He (God) chose a harlot for him. Yes a prostitute and it was for a reason. However still God did not specifically pick out the said prostitute for him.(Hosea 1:2-3 When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go, take for yourself a [a]wife of prostitution and have children of [her] prostitution; for the land commits great acts of prostitution by not following the Lord.” 3 So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.)
Just because you think God wants you to marry one particular person, doesn’t mean He does.
And just because God doesn’t “stop” you from marrying someone doesn’t mean He agrees with you that it’s a wise decision (he didn’t “stop” a lot of people from robbing banks or fleecing the economy who are even now serving time in prison). He will never forsake you.
He will be with you every second of that marriage, giving you the grace of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to live by your decision, but He has stated in His word that it is your decision, so it is risky to assume otherwise.
Rise up to your regal calling in Christ and own your decision. Of course, seek God’s blessing, and the leading of the Holy Spirit just as much, seek His wisdom.
While the Bible is silent on how you can definitively know who you’re “supposed” to marry, it does talk about the process of making wise decisions in seeking the intervention of the Holy Spirit through discernment.
By applying biblical principles, seeking wise counsel, being deliberate and wise in your choice, considering the future, and basing your decision on the right priorities.
Whether we marry, and who we marry, are spoken of in Scripture as part of God’s “permissive will,” something He allows us to choose.
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