Mercy Found Me

When finding a mate, we are often told to look for someone within the church community. The basis given for such advice is the verse, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). For those of us who don’t know what being “yoked” means. A yoke is what joins two oxen who are meant to carry a cart together. If one ox is pulling in one direction a lot more than the other, then the oxen will not be carrying the cart well. They may end up wanting to move in different directions. This verse serves as the foundation for Christian marriages. A christian should marry another christian. Otherwise, you will end up with someone with a different belief and moral system. Someone who doesn’t know God and will lead you away from Him. However what most of us as believers also don't understand  is that being in an “equally yoked” relationship isn’t about the convenience of going for church service together, or being able to sing the same songs, minister in church or ...

“It’s been miserable,” the woman confessed. “We’ve only been married for five years but it has been the worst five years of my life. My husband has just been awful. And what frustrates me so much is that God confirmed that I was supposed to marry him, ten times over.” You could have served the bitterness in her voice to a thousand people. In another conversation, another woman, married not just years, but decades, to a man who proved to be a pathological nassaccist, slipped in the same sigh and words, “But God told me to marry him.” To these and many others who said, “God told me to marry him/her,” I want to cry out, “No, He didn’t.” How can you say that Tabby? Allow me to burst your bubble. There is nothing in scripture that suggests there is just one specific person we're "supposed" to marry. Let me to explain. Proverbs 31 urges young men to be guided by a woman’s faith and character in making their choice. There is no mention of second guessing some divi...

Nameless and shameless, that’s our Bad Girl of the week. Scripture doesn’t tell us her age, her physical description, or her background. We know only that she was married, she was Egyptian, and she was definitely Bad to the Bone. Bored to Distraction - Genesis 39:1-23 In Pharaoh’s court, Potiphar served as “commander of the royal guard”, but behind his back, people called him the “chief butcher”. You know this executioner wouldn’t hesitate to lop off the head of any man who tried to play patty cake with his wife. Enter Joseph, a handsome young Israelite, despised by his brothers. They “sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites” (Genesis 37:28), who in turn sold him to Potiphar, no doubt for a tidy profit. His brothers treated Joseph like dirt. His new owner considered Joseph mere property. But God had a bigger, better plan. “The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered” (Genesis 39:2). Joseph didn’t prosper because he was good, but because God i...

I believe that there are times that God will allow us to go through stuff not more so that we may learn through the experiences individually but for others. I don’t believe any of us woke up one day deciding that we want to go through a hard time. Lately the Holy Spirit has been reminding me about the parable of the story of the good Samaritan [Luke 10:25-37]. There is a need to go the whole nine yards into exegesing the text into understanding why Jesus had to use the good folk as the Samaritan instead of the Jews. “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” Luke 10:25-37 NIV Jesus shares the parable of the good Samaritan in response to a religious leader’s question of “who is my neighbor?” In his story, Jesus tells of a priest and a Levite, both religious leaders, who walk by the dying man on the road. Both avoid the man...

It was a cold night of December 2007. It felt more cold than all other days. She could not understand what was happening anymore. The doctor's report had brought her very active life to a sudden stop. How could this be she wondered. She felt fine. She had no aches. She had just gone for a routine check up. And now she had stage two breast cancer. She thought about her two adorable children. She had done everything for them. They looked up to her. They were her life. She did not want to close her eyes lest she died in her sleep and leave them. She forced a smile now and again. She did not want to alarm them. The elder one was quite inquisitive and he would have smelled a rat a mile away. After tucking them in their beds. She closed the door to her bedroom behind her it was time for some serious talk with God. "Oh Lord!" she said. "I have seen you work things out before for me. You have given me the wisdom to nature and bring up this children in your fear. You ha...

I began this Blog-spot as a 30 something -year-old single woman who fully expected to be someone’s wife at some point, who struggled to make a relationship last, who had a habit of choosing unavailable men, who lived alone in an apartment in Mombasa, Kenya and who spent far too much time doing work that wasn’t aligned with my authentic self. I’m now in love, in love with myself, living by the sea in a Caribbean island, accepting I probably won’t ever get married again and being OK with that, and finding ways to use my gifts to create a fulfilling, purposeful, joyful and abundant life for myself and help others do the same. This blog is about authenticity, vulnerability, truth, change, blossoming, flourishing and thriving. My 40ish ... It’s also about the pain that some of us have to go through in order to get to a good place in our lives. It’s about the work we have to do on ourselves to create the lives and relationships we deserve. Probably w...

“We can’t go on together, living separate lives!” the song blares. It stirs something more than a tune inside you. It pounds in the chasm of your heart...  Maybe you’ve noticed the phenomenon. Maybe you even live it. Men and women who are legally married, but who live as singles. They live under the same roof, share the same last name, maybe operate out of a joint checking account, sleep in the same bedroom, maybe share a house but sleep in different rooms, yet live separate lives. Communication does not go beyond the strictly necessary and avoids conflict so they can maintain their peaceful coexistence. When you ask the married single about his or her spouse, there is usually an excuse why the other is absent. The excuse may be true, or they may have been carrying on the charade so long they actually believe the excuse, living in a constant state of denial. They may even be together at functions, but are not partners in life. What went wrong? Why are they living separa...